A Woman’s
Place: A Christian Vision for Your Calling in the Office, the Home, and the World
Author: Katelyn Beaty
Copyright 2016
Publisher: Howard Books
Pages: 251
Rating: Hangin with a Good Friend
“The reality is that feminism has defined broader cultural conversations about women’s work and vocations because Christian communities have largely overlooked that conversation. If churches aren’t grappling with the fact that women have professional ambitions and are already working, then we can hardly blame Christiam women for turning to mainstream culture to honor those ambitions and speak into their daily lives.” A Woman’s Place, pg. 42
Katelyn Beaty, print managing editor of Christianity Today and co-founder of Her.meneutics, has initiated an important conversation with her new book, A Woman’s Place: A Christian Vision for Your Calling in the Office, the Home, and the World. Beaty’s book is one that needs to be discussed, but as anything worth engaging, it will not be an easy discussion to have. In a sense, Beaty’s statement above holds some truth. Women today are seeking professional careers outside the home, obtaining high level degrees, and demanding more equality in pay and career advancement. Is this because the church has “overlooked” this conversation? Doubtful. Are Christian women licensed then to find their accolades, their worth in mainstream culture? In my opinion, this is a resounding no! In fact, I do think churches are attempting to examine and address this shift, however from examples given in her book and my own personal experience, I know the conversation is not really being handled as well or as frequently as it could be.
Beaty tries to do this with her book and for that deserves recognition. Even though I gave her book the “Hangin’ with a Good Friend” rating, it would be more accurate to describe the experience as “Contemplating with an Intelligent Woman”. Reading her book was not relaxing. It took much mental energy, constantly causing me to ask the question, “Is this true?” or “Does her interpretation of the situation really reflect reality?” On top of this, I had to mentally engage example after example of how women have been undervalued and disrespected because of their gender. This is a hard truth to look at because it requires examination of people mistreating one another.
In addition, it unearthed thoughts of the past in my own life, experiences both within my professional work and my church life that needed to be dealt with, and so this was a difficult book emotionally on a personal level. But being a woman that does not give in easily to a challenge (as in someone notorious for attempting to push a square peg into a round hole) and because I had been promised a fabulous coffee date with a valued female friend to discuss said book, I persevered! If you like books that require critical thinking, conversation, and self-reflection, this book will not disappoint!
So here I am, a woman, beginning my first ever blog post on a subject that is about as touchy as our current president feels about the size of his hands. However, the lighter I try to tread, the more I believe I dishonor the conversation Beaty wants from her readers. So, I pledge to you my full and honest thoughts, and hoping ultimately to encourage you to consider taking the time to read this book for yourself.
Sifting Through the Rubbish
There were a few things that I really disliked about this book, the foremost being that the concept of God’s grace isn’t discussed until pg. 169. This conversation must start with grace, especially between Christian brothers and sisters. It requires all of us to remember that if someone claims to be a Christ follower, that we should give them the benefit of the doubt as one shrouded in Christ’s righteousness and freedom.
Also, another warning to you that if you start this book with the attitude that you as a woman are a victim, then this book will not take you where you need to go until you get to almost the end of it. Yes, there are some instances within the first sections of this book that speak some hard truth and we will get to that, but there are also things you must be prepared to do the work of reading this book in the light of scripture.
Here is an example: pg. 16 “An in societies like ours, where the local of cultural influence is the marketplace (and no longer the home), women must be in the marketplace in order to shape material and institutional culture.” I think some would argue that while women working solely in the home, maintaining the daily life of the family unit are not ‘physically’ in the marketplace, in the long term they are still influencing material and institutional culture through the decisions they make as a consumer of the marketplace, not to mention the way they are influencing the minds and lives of the children they are raising. Now, to give Beaty credit, she is making this conclusion in light of the point that God intends for man and woman to rule creation together, and because the industrial revolution and the feminist movement has significantly impacted the direction of our culture, it does not negate the fact that an absence of women in all spheres of influence is a loss. However, this statement reads as if women that are not doing the 9 to 5 out in a professional role are a bit less impactful, and this is just not true.
As I continued reading, I found Beaty coming across as rather jaded in chapter 4 when she discusses the Proverbs 31 woman. On pg. 96, Beaty is raving about all the roles this woman exemplifies, especially in productivity and industry, but then goes on to insert a jab at the husband of this woman, stating “even though her husband is hanging out at the gates” as though the proverbs 31 woman was married to a lazy deadbeat. This misinterpretation of scripture not only disrespected the male gender but it dinged Beaty’s credibility in my mind. I was disappointed that the chapter took this turn, albeit I think it was to include some levity, it went over like a lead balloon with me. Women, we don’t need to be disparaging towards men to promote a message for valuing women, it only piles more dishonor into an already difficult situation between the genders.
Beaty argues with a statement that author Mary Kassian made in 2013 about how God created men to draw identity from their work and woman from their relationships and networking. Beaty, points out the fault of attaching manhood solely to work and womanhood solely to the role of homemaker. I tend to agree, that attaching definitive roles for all woman is not helping the matter. Defining the woman’s role as one that can only operate in the home to glorify God, while pitting that role against women creating a work life in a professional realm is only setting up division with no consideration of gifting, circumstance or God’s call to that individual. It also assumes that if a woman happens to be in a marriage relationship, that there must be some sort of dysfunction or reason to be suspicious of the way the marriage operates. There can be assumptions that the husband looks at the wife as a “money-maker” or as void of feminine characteristics. There can also be an assumption that the woman is dominant, demanding, too opinionated, and without honor for her husband. I think these types of assumptions usurp any respect for the possibility that the man and woman, in that married relationship, have mutually decided that the roles in which each has taken has been established with thoughtful consideration and intention for God’s call for them as a united pair.
Unearthing the Treasure
Now onto the positive! Reading this book reminded me that I have a significant and important task in front of me. The task of helping ALL my children, my daughter and my two sons, understand that wrapping their identity up in Christ is the foundation they need to navigate through the world without being sidetracked from doing the good work that God has called them specifically to do. It is my hope that my daughter will find someone as supportive as my husband is with me in chasing her calling. However, in the event that she may forge through life without a spouse, and it is important to teach her how to find her hope in the God who created her. Also, it is my desire that if my sons choose to marry, that they are the kind of spouse that will lay down their life for their wives, loving them in the same way their earthly father has loved me and their heavenly father has loved them.
The cold truth is that someone will always be there, either explicitly with words or actions or implicitly with unspoken rules and attitudes to try to distract them from the call of their maker. I could give you at least a handful of examples of how I have discouraged or disparaged for the choices I have made in regards to my career, my role as a wife, and my role as a mother, from both people “in the world” and people “in my church family.” They are not too far off from examples Beaty gives in her book, and it is disheartening to think about. But we must on some level think about these real life interactions, and we must talk about them to learn from them no matter the difficulty. It is usually in the willingness to face the difficulties that we may find the sweetest moments of unity with others.
It wasn’t until Beaty gets around to weaving herself into the story towards the end of the book, I that I started to really track with her. She discusses the hardships of being a single woman with a rewarding career in a male-dominated profession. She also points out the difficulty a single woman or professionally ambitious woman can experience if they happen to be in a church family that elevates the family and child-rearing above all else. It is here that Beaty discusses the concepts of grace, to a beautifully worded description of a “cross-shaped contentment” in choosing for God’s will to be done and to look for God’s power in the situation. She reminds us of the call as Christian women to be witnesses to the gospel, to ponder how God at the center of our life helps us hear His call and how we go about answering that call.
A Women’s Place encouraged me to think about the many roles in my own life. I’m a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, church member, as well as a medical professional where I have the joy of meeting people from all walks of life. Beaty reminds me that no matter how “busy” I think I am in those roles, I am not excused from intentionally acknowledging the needs of other women that may or may not share my same roles. But how does one do this?
What is a Woman to Do?
Well, if I had to begin a list it would probably include remembering that I am not excused from befriending a woman that does not share the same stage of life with me because it may be inconvenient. It means speaking life-affirming truths and encouragement into the woman who may be struggling with whatever circumstance life has given her. It is advocating for activities and events for both married and single, youthful and older women to be offered in my church so that everyone can enjoy relationship and be provided with opportunities to feel heard and valued. It is recognizing that God’s call for my life using the gifts God has given me does not equate to hard and fast rules for other women, no matter how successful I believe I have been in my choices.
But regarding the broader topic of women in the church, what reading this book made me conclude is that if I see injustice or feel like decisions are being made outside of the boundaries laid out by God’s word, I better be ready to speak up. In doing this I may risk rejections, labels or being black-balled by certain people. This is hard to do when one wants unity but feels outnumbered, out-theologized (that’s not a real word, I know), ineloquent, and possibly fighting against years of the “this is how we’ve always done it” attitude.
It is also accepting the hard reality that speaking up may not change a single thing, or that change may move at a snail’s pace and I will have to be ready to accept all the emotions that go along with that reality. It means taking my disappointments and hurts to the cross in prayer so that my gaze doesn’t get removed from the One who has ultimate control, and not letting rifts form so that I can live peaceably with all men (and women!).
The book also reminds me that I have gifts that I need to be sharing with both the world and my church family. Sometimes I can be unwilling to speak of my gifts because I don’t want to be seen as lacking in humility. If I am truly honest, then I will admit that I have gifts for leadership, vision and ingenuity. When my mouth and sarcastic sense of humor doesn’t get in the way, I think I also have been blessed with the gift of relating to people well and seeing the value in creating relationship. I also highly value restoration of relationship and to obtain this God has given me courage to share my thoughts and opinions, especially if I see a possibility for positive change to occur. (Sidenote, this last gift has greatly increased the need for me to practice my apology skills!) I do think my personality and gifts are provided more avenues for expression in secular settings, but this does not cancel out using these gifts in my church family. It is not an either/or situation really, the choice to use one’s gifts in the church or in the world. It is just a “yes” to using your gifts.
My good friend, Autumn, pointed me towards this scripture during our discussion of this book where it states “Ponder the path of your feet, then your ways will be sure.” (Proverbs 4:26 ESV) and in doing so stated that she wanted to be the type of woman that ponders, that really thinks through what is happening in her life. Oh, how I take joy in seeing her desire for intentionality for it is rare! We get sidetracked by our busyness, our desires or disappointments, our fears or frustrations, our unmet wants or needs. Sometimes we get sidetracked attempting to assume roles that others impose on us regardless of if God is really calling us to do said role. I’m grateful to Beaty in taking on this messy topic and bringing us back to pondering, to looking at the real-life results of Genesis 3:16 but not leaving us there. In the end, she reminds us of the work of the cross. I do believe that Beaty is spurring both genders on to keep up the good fight of working towards the types of relationships that will not be fully realized until the world is remade, but is so worthy a cause that we must continue to fight for the unity that sin tempts us to say we don’t really need.
So, when was the last time you have really pursued God to discuss your calling? Will you make time to ponder and to join in the conversation? If you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts!